Novel sample

Why a person turns inside is really a question that I can’t answer.  We all react differently. Something that happened in our younger years has made us turn inward and have a very negative opinion of ourselves.  This is usually caused by the rejection of one or both parents. As the person becomes less and less social and drifts away from their peer group the only reality they know is the one they have created in their mind. They want to find acceptance and approval, yet the feelings of low self esteem prevent them from putting themselves out there in a normal social environment. The fear of rejection is just too overwhelming to be faced. Reality slowly fades away and all that matters is self-perception.

Desperately seeking approval and terrified to face her peers, Tori created an alternate life for herself.  As an 18-year old girl who had grown up and rounded out very well with full perky 34 C’s she noticed that guys stared at her chest. She began to dress in more revealing clothes to elicit more stares.  The smiles and gawking serving as her stamp of approval. Sure they are lecherous old perverted men, but they noticed her and they like looking at her chest. She is worth something to somebody, even if it is just her chest and the people that are admiring it are not the greatest people in the world. It still feels good. She really likes how it feels to be wanted.

She knows she should be ashamed, but it makes her feel so good. Who really gets to decide what is morally right for her anyway. Who really cares? She has her body and she is going to show it off. She likes the hoots and hollers. The need for acceptance and praise began to outweigh any reservations she might have had.

Tori finally crossed that line one Friday night at a concert in the Bay Area. She had travelled down to the concert by herself. She did her best to mix into the crowd and the closer she got to the stage the less people cared about their surroundings. In the back everyone is in little cliques and there is no room for an outsider. Down front everyone is trying to have a good time and nobody cares that they are sardines. By the time the opening act had finished a 45 minute set the party was going full swing.  A bleach blonde with obviously store bought breasts had climbed up on her boyfriends shoulders and flashed the crowd to a giant roar of approval. So those snobby bastards like tits. My tits are just as nice and mine are real. Two others made their way onto shoulders and gave a brief flash. While the quality of the tits was going down, the roars of approval were becoming deafening. Wishing she had a boyfriend to lift her up so she could get her own applause, Tori began to longingly wish she could show off her body and win all that praise and approval. She grabbed the arm of a big guy next to her, “Let me get on your shoulders”.  He quickly placed his head between her legs and she was straddling his neck as she was hoisted aloft. She could see across the entire arena. She reached under her shirt and grabbed the cups of her bra and pulled mightily upward.  The crowd roared as Tori covered her face with her shirt. Her new friend reached up and fondled her. That was not part of the deal, but in an awkward way it felt good to have somebody pay attention to her. Once back down on the ground, she removed her bra and crammed it into her purse. Four more times before the headliner started playing, Tori was lifted in the air and gave the audience a show. Each time the crowd roared their approval. More of the lecherous men in her area kept grabbing her breasts and they were grabbing them way too hard. They were ruining a fun thing. The guy that was lifting her was getting too friendly so Tori moved along and found another location to listen to the band.

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