Second Guessing Myself

I have been playing online at Full Tilt Poker and I still have plenty of questions and many doubts about the security of online poker and I have vowed to not make a deposit and just grind away at the freeroll tournaments and build up a bankroll the hard way. Of course that means playing many hours in hopes of winning a couple dollars to get myself started. Great players like Chris Ferguson and Daniel Negreanu have built a bankroll from zero to $10,000 and I think I am able to do the same. I have a day job that I work full time and thse professional players are able to commit quite a bit of time to playing poker. Because I play quite a bit better than those guys I should be able to accomplish the challenge in short order. I hope I can make it before my limited attention span fails me and I get drawn toward a newer shinier toy.

I started documenting my journey in my blog about a month ago and I was able to win 80 cents in the first freeroll I played. I was able to build that up to three dollars in micro-limit games. I fell on tough times and lost a few hands crippling my bankroll. I was back down around a dollar and worked it back to five dollars recently. So after a little more than a month I have probably played 20 hours and have my bankroll up to five dollars.

I have blended my strategy some and I am now playing more freerolls and less cash games in hopes of picking up a few more dollars before I return to cash games. The cash games seem pretty volatile and I am definitely under funded even for the smallest cash games. I probably need close to a $20 bankroll to be able to get started in the smallest game and have ten buy-ins of $2 each.

As the hours click away and I avoid risk so that I do not go broke on my journey to a buy-in for the 2011 main event I am wondering how many hours it will take me to complete the challenge. Do I have the time and energy to complete the challenge and at what cost to the rest of my life? I am certainly starting to second guess myself for taking on this challenge.

I hope by the end of June I will have my $20 and be playing cash games to build a bankroll. I will check in again next month and let you know how totally unenthused I have become with this idea.

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