I have been working at Caltrans in Fresno for almost ten years now. I have discovered some very interesting things here. I work with a bunch of Enginerds. The kind of nerds that fantasize about out of their league girls, eat chips and candy bars all night long at the computer, and guzzle energy drinks all day long at work. Engineering nerds are a dating goldmine because they are safe, reliable, and have money. The drawback is they all look and act like your father. I noticed that all engineers own only one outfit. They all fall into one of two categories, the slobs that dress in jeans, tee shirts, and tennis shoes and the other group who always wearing a shirt tucked in, square-toed black shoes, and the black leather jacket from 1997–the last year they upgraded the wardrobe. What if they run out of shirts you ask? Not to worry, they always have their Caltrans t-shirts to fall back on. It is like they have decided they never want to have sex and pinned their own Scarlet Letters onto their shirt. So, Enginerds, I beg of you to stop dressing like Dad, because it’s not sexy. In fact, it’s kind of creepy. Take time away from your World of Warcraft, go out there and get yourself a wardrobe. The world could be your oyster if you just looked cooler and stop dreaming about Middle Earth–where all the Hobbits were suspiciously effeminate.



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